Death is never something that is easy to handle. When you are a parent and you experience the death of a child though, that is one of the most difficult times in a parent’s life. In fact, it is often referred to as the ultimate tragedy. Dealing with that loss can be extremely difficult.
The bond that develops between a parent and their child is incredibly strong. The death of a child not only severs this bond but it also puts an end to your dream of raising your child. Or your dream of how your child’s life will end up. All of this adds on to each other to make the trauma worse.
When a child dies, the age of the child doesn’t matter. From pre-birth to after a child has moved out of the home, it still takes a major toll on the parent. Parents don’t expect to outlive their children. And they shouldn’t have to. But unfortunately, sometimes parents do outlive their children. When this happens, how do you deal with the death of that child?
We are going to cover some of the most important parts of dealing with the death of a child today.
Stick With Your Partner And Other Family
Keeping your partner close after the loss of a child is important. You are both grieving and that shared loss will be a major tool in getting through everything together. While still having privacy, you should do your best to keep your family together. Comfort comes in being around those you trust and love the most. Even if you are just keeping the normal routine.
Routine helps to keep life normal. As much as possible you should return to your routine as soon as you can. This will likely mean you need to modify your routine slightly due to the loss of a child. But acknowledge that and continue on with your routine.
Turn To Family
After the death of a child, your family is often one of the best places to turn. Beyond just sticking with your family, if you need something, you should turn to them. The family has a bond that is almost as strong as the one that a parent shares with their child. Your family members are also grieving and in that mutual grieving, you can find solace.
After a loss, one of the best tools you have access to is creativity. Everyone may express creativity differently but no matter who you are, it can help you to get your feelings out. Through your creativity, you can learn about your experience and others can have a window into your feelings.
Some common forms of creative expression after a loss include: journaling, poetry, painting, drawing, and crafting.
Don’t Say No To Help
It may feel like a good idea to immediately start doing chores and work after the death of a child. These things take your mind off what happened. For a short time, this may be okay. But do not turn down help after the death of a child. That help gives you time and space to go through the natural process of grieving.
If you find yourself needing help from friends or family, don’t be afraid to ask for it. That help is often what you need.
Seek Professional Help If You Need It
From time to time we all need professional help. After the death of a child, if you are having a hard time coping or parts of your life feel like they are failing, and you can’t resolve it alone, then you might need to see a counselor. The same could be said if your marriage is hurting from the death of a child.
A counselor can not just help you understand what is happening but help you to develop the necessary skills you need to succeed.
Grief is complicated and everyone handles it differently. These tips here are some of the best ways you can deal with the death of a child in a healthy manner. Take them and use them to help yourself deal. Don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help if you need it. A counselor and/or grief counseling group can be very beneficial.